I have been struggling with my feelings of inadequacy as a parent lately and I have really felt like I have been less than a good mom. But Sunday, after spending an entire week together 24/7 with my entire family, all of my children expressed the desire to stay home with me and not go back to school the next day. Now I am not so naive to think I was their soul reason, I mean weigh the options, school or vacation? What I did feel was their sincere desire to be with me and that they like to be around me and that I am not doing such a bad job as a parent after all!
This has caused me to also reflect on a conversation with my 15 year old who had been so busy with school and sports and church activities that I had hardly seen him the whole week. When we finally had a few minutes together he put his arms around my shoulder and said, "mom I've missed you, I have been so busy I've hardly seen you this whole week." That was a tender mercy, this 15 year that is pulling away and becoming a man, is still able to recognize our relationship and that I am a part of his life.
My little girl that said "I never want to leave you, I love spending time with you." My five year old that clings to my neck for dear life, not wanting me to leave him at school after a 2 week break. My 14 year old that comes to my room and just wants to talk, even if it is sometimes way past time to be asleep. Or my 10 year old that still just runs in for a hug every so often.
I guess if my kids still want to be near me I am not as bad as I thought. Today, I am grateful for the tender mercy from my heavenly father letting me know you are doing all right. The tender mercy given me through loving children, that teach me how to show my feelings. How humbled and grateful I am for each of them.
