I guess I'm doing okay afterall!

I have been struggling with my feelings of inadequacy as a parent lately and I have really felt like I have been less than a good mom. But Sunday, after spending an entire week together 24/7 with my entire family, all of my children expressed the desire to stay home with me and not go back to school the next day. Now I am not so naive to think I was their soul reason, I mean weigh the options, school or vacation? What I did feel was their sincere desire to be with me and that they like to be around me and that I am not doing such a bad job as a parent after all!

This has caused me to also reflect on a conversation with my 15 year old who had been so busy with school and sports and church activities that I had hardly seen him the whole week. When we finally had a few minutes together he put his arms around my shoulder and said, "mom I've missed you, I have been so busy I've hardly seen you this whole week." That was a tender mercy, this 15 year that is pulling away and becoming a man, is still able to recognize our relationship and that I am a part of his life.

My little girl that said "I never want to leave you, I love spending time with you." My five year old that clings to my neck for dear life, not wanting me to leave him at school after a 2 week break. My 14 year old that comes to my room and just wants to talk, even if it is sometimes way past time to be asleep. Or my 10 year old that still just runs in for a hug every so often.

I guess if my kids still want to be near me I am not as bad as I thought. Today, I am grateful for the tender mercy from my heavenly father letting me know you are doing all right. The tender mercy given me through loving children, that teach me how to show my feelings. How humbled and grateful I am for each of them.

To My Mother!

One of the most amazing tender mercy's my heavenly father has given me in this life is my angel mother. She see's a need and responds to it. She seeks out the positive in situations and in people, and in doing so, brings out the best in others.

Just this week my mother called me and wanted to come help me get ready for our trip to Mexico. We spent most of the day busying our selves with tasks around the house with two sick kids in the morning(needs,needs,needs) and the same two that felt much better in the afternoon(energy,energy,energy). She has so much patience and love for my children that I am constantly amazed. During our day we had several good "interupted" conversations, how I long for more. I don't spend near enough time with my parents, something I miss and regret alot.
I remember we'd go visit my grandparents and days at a time were spent solely together, visiting, playing, preparing meals, going to swapmeets. Quality and quantity. Maybe living so close has caused us to spend less time together because we take our relationships for granted.

Telling someone you love them is very important. But showing them, working along side them, spending time with them, sitting on the porch and drinking lemonade, that is vital and a past-time nearly forgotten, with email, phones, and the many "good" opportunities we have our children involved in. Oh where is the balance. . . (Another story, another blog!!!)

Therein lies my quest: in search of a better life, a life simplified. Thank you mom for all you do, all you are and all you inspire in me. I love you

Tender Mercy: Elder Van Winkle's Mission Call

My little nephew Kolton got his Mission Call! Okay, so he isn't so little anymore, but that is beside the point. He has always been so kind and a great example to me and my children. He invited all of his family on both his mom and dad's side plus some close friends and some neighbors that aren't member's of our church, but love Kolton and have been so interested at how missionaries go on missions and pay for it all themselves, and don't choose where they are going, etc.

We all made guesses at where we thought he might be called on his mission too. He opened his envelope and read it line by line and when he got to the part you have be called to serve in the Peru, Lima South, mission, we all let out a scream. How exciting.

The humble feelings that I felt reaffirmed my testimony of the inspiration that comes with the mission call. I was grateful to be apart of that occasion and mostly that my boys were witness to the excitement and feelings that came with that. I know that they all have a desire to serve a mission and feel that it is such a tender mercy each time their lives are touched by those young men who are willing to sacrifice, willing to serve. It is a tender mercy each time someone makes the right choices and a teenager witnesses it! They have enough negative examples, hooray for the positive ones.

An unlikely bearer of a Tender Mercy

This entire week has been a whirl wind with so many things to do I didn't know which end was up. No time for the things that matter most. I felt thrown into the rate race with a hunk of cheese tied to my fanny! By Friday I was ready to throw in the towel, in fact I almost decided to cancel all I had to do and stay in bed. One tender mercy was I woke up rejuvenated and excited for what the day might bring.

Friday I was fortunate enough to attend a meeting on a new reading system that is going to be implemented in my son's school. I love it. I enjoyed everything about the process. I am so excited that he will have this available to him. Through the course of the day I enjoyed learning and being taught a new concept and felt myself come alive again, where I had once been dormant. I love children, I love learning, and I love teaching them. To top it off the administrator of that school decided they wanted to pay me for being there and participating.

The facilitator of this seminar was a wonderful man, Michael Maloney, author of Teach Your Children Well, (by the way I received a signed copy) It was a tender mercy for me to be there and learn from him. But mostly I was blessed to have a part of me awakened and rejuvenated that hadn't been noticed for a very long time. This probably sounds strange to most everyone, but I found a "peace" of me that had been lost some where along the way of domestic-hood!

I found that several things I learned I could implement at home in several areas that will help me in my role as a mother/teacher/educator to my children.

What an unlikely person to bring a tender mercy into my life, a man, best selling author, educator, all the way from Canada, etc. And yet isn't that how tender mercies come into our lives, by unlikely means, when we least expect it. I know this person doesn't realize the tender mercy he performed for me yesterday, I kinda failed in not sharing with him my gratitude for what he brought into my life. I want to be able to express my gratitude to him, I think I'll write a letter??? Anyway, I can't wait to discover the next tender mercy in my life.

My Husband - My Lifesaver!

Today I am recognizing the good, kind hearted husband that I have. So often he gets the worst of me, and I can really nit-pic, but today, I am greatful for all of the tender mercies he has given me, through out our life together. But more specifically Monday he was on his own for dinner, we had home evening at grandma's, but he had to stay and take our freshman to "freshman orientation", Tuesday I had reliefsociety birthday party to help put on, left no dinner for them, again on his own, no complaint to me at all. (hopefully it isn't because he is afraid I'll explode.) Wednesday? hum oh yea, I went to a track meet all day long, for Garrison, he did the mom suffle after work and picked up kids, coached and again handled dinner. No complaint. He is too good to me. I am so blessed. As for tonight I again need to be gone and this time I have chicken salad ready and I hope no one complains too loudly. I am humbled at his kindness and patience with the busy week I have had. All I have to say is Mexico here we come. If he were terribly cranky about this I would not have been able to cope, physically or mentally with all that has been thrown on my plate this week. Thank heaven for husbands!

Bullies and Friends

Life is full of twists and turns isn't it? For instance my son is a terrific person, with great qualities and talents in several areas. This year for some reason his friends have decided that they will tease and pick on him. It is so unbearable to have to watch a 14 year old go through this. They act like for lack of better words "a bunch of girls". They think they are really cool and everyone around them should be judged to their standards. They have created a set of code words so they can tease, make fun of, or talk about people right in front of them. It is very hateful and feels like bullying or gang stuff to me. Well recently I have found out that my son, their supposed friend is the brundt of their code jokes! When a good friend and mother of one of these other boys told me about the codes she said it was directed mainly at this other boy. And she was laughing about it. My feelings were so hurt and I was so dumbfounded that I didn't say anything to stick up for the guys being picked on. This is a bunch of 8th grade boys, and I think it is the stuff that causes the kids being bullied to retaliate. My tender mercy that goes with this is rather odd, but it is this. Two good friends of Tanners, true friends, recently told me about him and how much they like him. I can't buy him friends, or get them for him. This challenge will certainly make him stronger. But will his whole personality be changed or altered? I know that as I pray for him everyday, I get a little more enlightenment and feel blessed to be close to him and help him recognize the tender mercies in his life. Any advice from parents who have dealt with similar situations please post.

This Blog is a Tender Mercy for me!

Today I begin this blog! Today this new blog is my Tender Mercy! I find that in life, I have many challenges, and negative feedback bombarding me on every side. I was impressed with some things I had read about tender mercies and a meeting I have weeking we share our tender mercies from the week. Often times I am hardpress to recognize and find one, which is rediculous because I truly feel they happen on a daily basis, even hourly. Yet in our hurried life we don't take the time to recognize them. Trying to recognize them has not come easy. I feel that through this blog, I will be able to recognize and emphasize those wonderful, little glimpses of light that shine through in every aspect of my life. These glimpses I am recognizing and naming tender mercies are things that come into our lives to help us hold on, make it through, enjoy life more fully, find meaning and purpose in the menial tasks of life, and give us the reassurance we need that we are loved and needed and that we are not alone in our quest to endure to the end. Thank you Jenna for sending me your new blogspot address, that was a tender mercy to me. Now have a way to document the recognition of the tender mercies in my life. I hope that all who view this will also share their tender mercies of their lives. That together we can strengthen and help each other to endure to the end. I am so blessed.